The Lost Art Of The Compliment

More of a sharing post today than anything pertaining to my own thoughts. A friend, Chloe, linked me to this article and, with my exams *mostly* out of the way, I finally got around to reading it.

The article: The Lost Art Of The Compliment.

It's essentially just about what it really means to compliment someone - why we do it, what effect it has, when the correct time to do so is. It's something I'd never necessarily thought about before. I must admit though that I kind of disagree with the author's initial view in regards to the weight compliment. I know it's probably odd for me to be taking an optimistic view but I never necessarily saw it as a hollow ice-breaker, or a reminder of how one *used* to be like he did. Considering the effort I'd gone through to lose a lot of weight (and still am), the odd occasion someone mentions it that I haven't seen in awhile... It really does brighten up my day.

As for motives and whatnot though, and the correct moment to compliment deeper in the article, I must agree that it should never be forced. They really do mean a lot more when it's just out of the blue, even mid-conversation. I know one thing I get constantly complimented on - and I'm not quite sure why - is my eyes. I've had a number of people just randomly comment on their 'blue-ness' when just standing in the canteen line or something such as Rachel. I know in the middle of a shift at Red Rooster I was in the middle of a conversation with Mariah and Colby at different points, and even just disregarding the conversation for a short moment each commented on my eyes out of the blue - just because they felt it needed to be said. Not to *start* conversations, but to merely acknowledge. That's the sort of compliment that actually means something to me, like he states in the article.

Sure hearing "Nice [x]" from a friend or a stranger is nice and all, but it never means as much. The more personal the comment, the more out of the blue it is, the better. It shows an actual element of observation rather than a fleeting moment or glance. He mentions almost developing this 'hypersensitivity' to the details of people, finding something unique and interesting, something to be admired, about the people that he meets, rather than just letting everyone blur into the crowd. That seems more like the kind of attitude I should work on adopting. Taking the time to stop and look around, to notice things, to admire.

I figure I should stop here - anything I say will just be written far more eloquently and made so captivating in the article itself. He really did have quite a way with words, made everything seem so thoughtful.

...and in hindsight I guess I just complimented him. Still, as cliched as it probably is, it needed to be said.

Adios.

Common Courtesy Isn't So Common

Seriously, whatever happened to common courtesy? Having just completed Paper 1 on Belonging today for English, I'm slightly disconcerted that I almost feel like the protagonist of my creative story, hanging onto values in a world where they're progressively becoming outdated and irrelevent.

Whatever happened to the times when a cashier was actually friendly,
not just spouting polite idioms?

Whatever happened to the times when an apology was actually apologetic,
not something just stated to get rid of the awkwardness?

Whatever happened to the times when a person could ask politely for something to be done,
not having to resort to anger or some form of deterrent due to almost bratty resistance?

Whatever happened to the times when a favour was actually a favour,
not some ludicrous transaction where everything was perfectly balanced?

Whatever happened to the times when people were actually attentive to a conversation,
not just a time filler until boredom or obligations consume one of the participants?

Whatever happened to the times when a gift was actually a gift,
not an investment or an obligation to get a future return?

I really wonder what happened to all that. As of late it just seems like these things are increasingly becoming a rarity, really different to how it was a decade or so ago. Maybe that's just the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia for my childhood that're skewing my perceptions, but I can't help but feel that's the way things used to be. More simple and personal. I know I'm not the only one who tries to retain these sort of values, and I'm thankful for those other people who do their best as well. It's those sort of people that make life worth living. Make it pleasant. I'm well aware this post is slightly more ranty than usual but I blame the HSC English paper for that, heh.

I really just long for the day when such values begin to make a more mainstream comeback.

Adios.

Fifty People, One Question, Zero Study

Been a bit under the weather today so my study has taken a hit, which isn't exactly great the week before my first HSC exam. Anyway, I can't particularly find the time, energy or brainpower to write anything too substantial (which should please Shuang and the like who prefer things short and sweet, haha) so instead I thought I'd just link to this video.

There's actually a number of videos, a few of which get linked to at the end of this one, and even more if you google. Essentially, the premise is simply that this guy goes to a town somewhere in the world and pulls over 50 strangers on their daily walk to ask them a basic question with no limitations on the answer - for example, "Where would you like to wake up tomorrow?" or "What do you wish would happen by the end of the day?" - and then collages the video responses together to contrast all the different characters of the city, as well as their vastly differing and interesting answers. The videos just had a great atmosphere to them, so I'll say no more and let anyone who's interested to judge for themselves.

Really just makes you think. When a question is so simple it's amazing how easy it is to go blank, unless you adopt a stock standard response. Honestly, myself, I have no idea.

Adios.

World Wide Web Of Inspiration

Recently got into StumbleUpon and it led me to this site full of a number of inspirational quotes. I was skimming through and one quote in particular stuck out.

"One who looks for a friend without faults will have none."

The site for those interested: http://www.worldofinspiration.com. Guess I should probably take these sort of things on board. I'm a bit of an offender in this regard.

Adios.

Hello World, Welcome To The Conversation...

Figured I haven't updated in awhile, though I don't know how substantial this post will be. More of a sharing experience. That and Shirley requested a blog post since I hadn't in awhile, heh.

Anyway, got linked to this quite interesting video regarding the evolution of media and how it's shaping conversation and culture. It helped me realise one thing in particular that I'd never really taken note of until now in the writing of this blog - namely, who exactly am I writing to?

I mean, I know people read it, as evidenced by the comments, and I know even more just flick through it occasionally and lurk (because they've essentially told me so), but the video raised the interesting point of the fact that... well.. I never quite know who I'm writing to, let alone when or in what context. Here's the video for those interested:

Wesch raised this point that, with the evolution of the media and its inclusion of blogs and vlogs, etc, we're essentially having conversations that, well, aren't conversations. They're face-to-face in the case of vlogs especially, except we have no eye contact or awareness of the context, time, or whom we're conversing to in the first place. The same goes for blogs to an extent; people are reading this, and yet there's no recognition necessarily between myself (the author) and the other person (the reader), to the point where it's a complete 'conversation' that simultaneously excludes one of the participants from any interaction (myself, unless you leave a comment, heh).

It's just a very intriguing notion, that all these conversational barriers collapse when I'm typing to simultaneously someone and no-one, and the same for those with a web cam doing vlogs - talking to someone who isn't even there are the time but is still forever part of the conversation.

Still, there are those who try and reconnect through this odd form of conversation, like he shows toward the end of the video. Particularly, there was that guy.... I forget the name, but I can't be bothered re-watching the video again, heh, anyway... He basically works anonymously under a mask and uses this lopsided conversation as a call for action. He even takes advantage of the fact that the conversation is debatably eternal, until the video is removed, allowing for an endless stream of replies for a conversation that is technically-speaking long finished. Ironically, all these responses in the disconnected conversation, where he asked everyone to write something on their hand, essentially spoke of calls to action for a reconnection of the world, despite this cultural and media shift.

Just found it an interesting thought that I hadn't really considered since beginning this blog. Still, there's plenty more than just that within the video. Seriously, watch it - very intriguing.

Adios.